Naina laid down in the open fields. It was rare to find such a stretch of green in the middle of the bustling city. But then this was far away form the smoke and sound. They were visiting the state capital but the decsision was taken in the afternooon. Even till last night, they weren't sure. However, the three-hour distance and some time spent together before work started proved good reasons to pack food and rent a car.
She wanted Rahul to stop the car and have a picnic in the fields. The tall grasses swayed gently in the winds. The bare skeletons of the trees stretched towards the dull blue sky. Wisps of clouds moved aside. 
"Rahul, if you show me something truly beautiful, I will marry you." Naina smiled impishly.
"Are you serious?" Rahul asked, with his wide-popping eyes. 
"Yes, but it has to be truly something breath-taking." Naina replied. 
"All right, how about the shapes of the clouds? Can you see the fox, the lobster, the dolphin, the baby girl riding her unicorn and the lion pawing at the mouse?" Rahul frantically pointed out to the cloud shapes.
Nains shook her head. "Not good enough. I can see the shapes, but no."
They returned to the car and Rahul started driving again. Naina closed her eyes. The lunch was heavy. She shouldn't sleep but then she couldn't control herself. 
Rahul looked at Naina, his Naina. The girl who could be both gentle and ferocious, a study in contradictions. He flicked a strand of he hair from her face. They were an hour away form their destination when he saw the most beautiful sight of his life.
The sky was a riot of golden yellows and ochers. The golden clouds near the horizon seemed to emit fire and light. Were they clouds or some kind pf light in the distance? No they were clouds, lighted up by the fading sun to greet them. 
"Naina, Naina! Wake up. See in front." Rahul shoook Nain up.
"Huh.. oh..? Oh.. ooohh.... my god..." Silence. Naina was absolutely quiet for two minutes, new record.  
The sky changed color again. As the sun set, it became a fusion of pinks and mauves. The violets were slowly moving their hands to the lighter mauves and pinks. the clouds were a beautiful shade of candy-floss pink. It seemed as if the artist had painted the sky in Naina's favorite colors. 
She turned to Rahul, "Yes."

Teacher quirks

You realize you are a teacher when:

1. You check in your official email id rather than Facebook.
2. You decide to stay home at night, rather than go out because you have to wake up early the next morning.
3. You decide to forego the movie at night at home because you have to wake up early.
4. You postpone shopping (even grocery) because you have a corrections to do.
5. You plan your schedule and meetings around your classes.
6. Your printing and copying allotments (free) are mainly used up printing syllabi and schedules and copying handouts. 
7. You prefer to catch up on commenting on rough drafts rather than read for your own pleasure.
8. You search for educational and innovative videos on Youtube rather than songs which you want to listen to. 
9. You mark out passages form websites ad books to discuss in class and point out grammar issues.
10. You blog and write a journal on things that work or don't work in a classroom.

(P.S. These are just some of the things that I do. Obviously, I am also working for my own studies). 

Memphis, Tennessee

One of the advantages in coming nearly 2 weeks before your official date is that you can explore the city, the university and the inhabitants.
For starters, Memphis is more silent and greener than Kolkata. It is brightly lit even at 8pm, when the sun slowly begins to set. But the evening falls suddenly, almost as if someone has thrown a deep blue colored shawl because of the slight chill in the weather. And yes, the moon and the sun remain in the sky together for way longer than I have ever seen. The predominant colors in the city are shades of brown for the houses and green for the trees (though some are turning brown in anticipation of autumn).The green is dull, it does not hurt the eyes. There is also a lot of graffiti on the walls and staircases. Stained glass windows in churches are startlingly modern. The roads are wide, really wide and the cars whiz past. The cars stop first and the pedestrians cross, unlike in India where we stop first and then the cars. Ah well, India is India :)
The animal which is the mascot fro this state of Tennessee is the Royal Bengal tiger, a connection that I personally like because 1. I love tigers 2. This one is from Bengal and 3.I am born in the year of the tiger. according to the Chinese zodiac sign. Tigers in shades of blue are found everywhere, on the walls, websites, tees, bags and caps.
Bureaucracy is the same, with its set of interconnected rules and regulations. It takes time for completing paperwork though the hassles are somewhat reduced. People are helpful, though it does seem strange how complete strangers smile, greet and wish; something completely unthinkable in Kolkata, or even in the whole of India. There it would be a sure shot way of inviting trouble. I need to get used to this, though this will take the longest time. Don't the cheeks pain with the smiles, or is it because the smiles don't reach the eyes?
I would like to visit the museums and the river Mississippi, though I have no clue when. Also, my camera seems to be misplaced. So no pictures till then. More impressions to come soon.

After time

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," Tilottama pouted at Akhilesh.
Akhilesh looked at Tilottama, her Tulo; he had recreated (or as Tilottama would say, "Disfigured") her pet name, Tuli. Tilottama melted in her heart, for the 5895th time, looking at his dreamy innocent eyes and his lopsided mischievous smile.
"And why is that?" Akhilesh asked.
"For waltzing into my somewhat settled life, completely overturning its directions, screwing my well-laid plans and creating pandemonium." Tilottama answered. "I sincerely hate you for making me fall in love with you, Aki."
Akhilesh answered, "Your favorite word is 'pandemonium'."
Tilottama looked at him and smiled, "Another reason why I hate you is that you know me better than I do myself."
Akhilesh held her hand and fingered her tiny diamond ring, his gift, "Well, that is love, Tulo."

Tilottama woke up, drenched in sweat and tears. She hated these dreams the most where nothing unbelievable, irrational or weird happened. They were too life-like for her and she cried on realizing that they were just bits and pieces of her memories, fragments of times shared with Aki.

Aki had made his decision and moved on. Why could't she do the same? The relationship counselor to her friends and the keeper of their secrets was having a crisis of her own. She was fake, a failure. Not because Aki had left. But because she was not following the advice which she gave everyone. May be she should have loved him less, been beautiful, been more trusting, been less idealized, been less talented, been less intelligent, been more forgiving, been more broad-minded, been less this and more that. But how did one know what to do and what not to do in something for the first time? When you lay your cards on the table and hope the other person was doing the same? When you relaize that you can't live without this person and pray for the best to happen, but when the other person has decided something which is in compete contradiction to everything said in the time you know each other? What then? yes, truly, what then? Do you go through the whole rigmarole again? Or do you try to rebuild your life from the broken shards?


Tilottama rubbed her forearm. The bruise she had got yesterday in the bus had turned an ugly purple. The transport system coupled with her distraction was turning into a nightmare. Strange how she loved purple, mauve, lilac, violet everywhere except her bruises. Tilottama was early for her date with Tanima, her friend form school. For a change, it was not Tanima who was late but she who was early. 
"Mam, here's a note for you," the waiter bent low and informed her. 
Tilottama was surprised. This was her regular coffee joint and most of the waiters knew her. She turned around and picked up the paper napkin from the tray. It advertised the food chain and had marks from the cold tray. She picked it up to find a paper torn from a reminder pad. She turned it around and froze. It was Aki's writing. Tilottama recognized it from the few letters he had written to her and the greetings scribbled on the first pages of books and cards. "I gave u sadness and despair when you needed love and affection the most. You gave me pure love that is eternal and sublime. I gave you tears of emptiness. Sorry for unable to return the same amount back to you over the time." Tilottama whirled around and frantically searched the shop. Why? Why was this happening now? How come? When did he return? She called out to the waiter and asked him about the person who had written the note. "He left, Mam. Is there anything wrong?"
Tilottama rushed out and bumped into Tanima. "I got to go. It is urgent." Tanima didn't say anything and let her pass. Tanima called out, "Will call you tonight."
Crap. It was drizzling again. She looked around at the pretty houses, the winding lanes, parked cars and at the flower shop opposite. That seemed like his car, but she was unsure. She had lost him, again. Why did it always end this way? Was she ready to accept him back in her life? What happened to her feminist streak of independence and privacy? Why couldn't she get a normal life and have a normal relationship? 


"You have always loved the rain Tulo. And I have always loved you. I could never leave you no matter what. You are too much a part of my existence." Aki whispered in her ear. 

25

I celebrated my 25th birthday last Saturday. Nothing much: phone calls from friends, birthday cake from Ma cut in the morning, a quiet lunch with family an unexpected adda with friends, some arguments in the evening and dinner with my maternal uncle. Friends wished at specific times when I knew they would. The next two days were spent in replying to FB wishes. An unpredictable but interesting birthday. 
Most friends welcomed me to their side of the 20s as I have always been the youngest among my friends and colleges. Suddenly I seem to have achieved a milestone in my age, in my life. All of a sudden I am supposed to be responsible, grown-up and serious. I have to be diplomatic, understand people, be on my best behavior always. I can't rant, be emotional, be contradictory or anything that is deemed 'childish', 'silly' or 'stupid'.
The pessimist in me has just become more negative. At times it life seems so unreal. 
For months I had been dreading my 25th birthday: the milestone or rather the millstone. Because expectations are sky high and actual results are zero. Because you are struggling with the same set of problems as you had earlier, the same deadlocks and dilemmas, the same shattering of wishes, the same dreams turning into dust. Because you are confused, though you shouldn't be. Because you are not following your advice which you give to people. Because you are a human, an imperfect person with perfect dreams. After all, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"


(PS: Thanks Amu for your 25: http://www.randomthoughtsthoughtrandomly.blogspot.com/2010/05/twenty-five.html)

On the bus

There are days, and there are journeys. Not the life-changing philosophical journeys into existentialism and purposes, but the rather mundane journeys to the office, college, market place, cafes or the kitchen. Everyone is supposed to exercise, jog, run about or stretch to lose the kilos, but I think running after buses, autos and subway trains is enough. Why do we need a corporate sponsored marathon for? This post is about the numerous types of people (specially females) I encounter on the bus (because that is my primary mode of transport till I buy something else). An earlier post is here.

1. The aunty/kakima/jethima- In her forties and fifties, she will wear a saree or a salwar kurta without the dupatta. Her bag will be huge which carries everything. She will loud on her phone and unapologetic if she stamps on your feet. She is immune to glares, evil mutterings under breath, other people's problems. She will not budge an inch but try to fit in a seat for three people where there are already two ladies who are of medium build and one who is thin/ is a child. 
2. The younger version of the aunty- She is in her thirties, married and with a child. Her darling is her world, even though the darling may be quite grown up. She will not put her toddler on her lap and let you sit besides her, even though she hasn't paid for the ticket for the child. AT other times, another version of her will convince the conductor that her child is less than 3 years old, though in school, of a reasonable height and carrying a huge school bag. 
3. The hyper-early- This specimen can be both male and female. They will get ready to get off the bus which means getting the bag in order, putting the headphones in the bag, checking the watch and  tying up the hair. Fine. But why some 3/4 bus stops before your destination? Poor passenger who wants to sit is waiting expectedly and ends up getting down before. 
4. The tech-music freak- She is either a teen or in her twenties, obsessed with her mobile phone and the music. As soon as she boards the bus, she has to switch on her music and plug in the headphones; even though it maybe a journey of just 10 minutes and she maybe nearly falling down as she cannot maintain her balance (her hands hold the phone and her bag). 
5. The terror toddler- Children are usually well behaved on the bus. (Please note the word usually.) But there are some who will wail their lungs out while your eardrums burst, kick you while moving, make funny faces inside and outside the bus, want sweets form all the vendors and be an over-all pain.
6. The cool dude- He is the one with spiked hair, pointy shoes, sunglasses and a flashy mobile. He will try to be everything that he is not: uber-cool, oh-so-desirable, intelligent and Sexy. He will check out all the ladies, albeit discreetly; be extra chivalrous and try to grab attention with his actions and his friends, if they are with him. 

Can you add to the list?